It Is Well, With My Soul…Time to Reflect

Now that the dust has settled and the news of Blessing #2 is public, I have finally taken the time to take a step back from the emotional whirlwind/roller coaster and reflect…

Since I have made the news public, I have received all sorts of e-mails, texts, calls, etc. from people who feel the need to remind me how blessed I am, how lucky I am, and how this is all in God's perfect timing. At first I got frustrated…I wondered…"Do I really come off as a completely negative person who is always complaining about my horrible life? Are my blog posts/FB status updates so discouraging to others that they feel the need to remind me and put things in perspective for me? Or is my honesty to how I am really feeling too much for some to handle and should I just keep that to myself…am I being judged for how honest I am? Do I not state enough how blessed I am at the end of everything I write about? What does this all mean"? I do have to admit that after I was pushed over the edge with one last message about how blessed I am, I got a bit sarcastic on Facebook and decided to add "I am so blessed" to the end of most of my status updates whether or not they made sense..yes, I know, that is horrible, but I was coping! 


As I reflected more, I decided not to take personally all the things people have been telling me (unsolicited advice most of the time), remember that most people have good intentions and most of them are just trying to encourage me and make me feel better. 


As I have slowly "let go and let God" (if you will) He has been revealing himself to me through my daily time with Him and songs. To be honest, ever since I found out I was pregnant, I was probably the furthest away from God than I have been in a long time. I wasn't angry, because I know He is Sovereign, but I was complacent. I really didn't want to be told one more time "this is all in God's timing" or "He knows what is best for you" or "aren't you just so excited?" I figured that if I stayed far away from the Bible and closeness with God I wouldn't have to hear Him tell me the exact same things. I contemplated when I was was going to make the news public (ie. post it on Facebook) but it wasn't until January 17th that I really opened my Bible with an open mind ready to hear what God had to say. Of course, He always knows when to speak to me at the perfect times. I was coming to the end of my reading for the day when finished with 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18


Thessalonians 5:16-18 "Be joyful always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." Wow! I felt like God was talking directly to me…"Emily, get out of your funk, change your attitude and be joyful! This is my will for your life whether you like it or not!" In that moment, I got excited and my heart started to soften. I got a smile on my face imagining the life that God has planned for us as a family of four, the dynamic of Aubrey and her little sibling and that in just about 5.5 months I will get to meet this sweet little bundle! 


At church on Sunday God totally spoke to me through the worship music. We sang an old hymn that really spoke to my heart, I began to cry and for once in a long time, I felt complete peace as if angels were singing to me…Here are the lyrics in the song that just resonated with me…

"Whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say,

IT IS WELL, IT IS WELL, WITH MY SOUL"!

(You can listen to the full song here)

As much as I may have come off as not being grateful for this new adventure in our lives, I am feeling comfort knowing that God knows me well enough to give me a second baby at the perfect time. Am I still scared? YES! Do I wonder what this new dynamic will look like? YES! Do I question my ability to be just as good of a mother to a second child as to my first? YES! Does the idea of being able to juggle having a newborn, chiseling and shaping a toddler, being a loving wife, an invested mother, a loyal and available friend, and a committed Christian completely FREAK ME OUT? YES!!!! But one thing I know for sure is that this is God's will for me in Christ Jesus (as cliche and "churchy" as that sounds) and I can't wait to see what He has in store!!! IT IS WELL, IT IS WELL, WITH MY SOUL!!

What is a blog post without a photo? This is the first photo I have taken but it was about 3 weeks ago. New one to come soon (there is definitely a lot more to show)!